随便
加入时间: 2004/02/14
文章: 24019
经验值: 64
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作者：随便 在 寒山小径 发贴, 来自 http://www.hjclub.org
Short Story: “Happy New Year!”
随便，
On the last day of the year a few well-known transients came by the rice field of our village. One of them started giving a speech to folks working there.
“Hello everyone, I just visited the town, and you know what, I discovered that people there don’t plough field. What they do – they either stay at home and watch TV, or sit in offices behind tables as wide as Chief Zhao’s office. They are nice and clean all the time.”
“Now you all see how stupid you are. If you continue to believe in slavery you and your children will work in the field for the rest of you lives. No one can help you.”
The villagers all knew what they were and nobody paid much attention. This agitated the speaker.
“Look guys, I am running out of fucking patience. Let’s just go and kill
the son of bitches in charge of this village. Are we in agreement? I
don’t hear you! Is there anyone who’s against staying at home and watching
TV?”
He walked to Li and pat him on the shoulder, “you.” He then walked to Wang and ordered, “And you, what do you think you have in your hands? That’s a hoe, isn’t it? Make use of it. You two go to the village admin building, and show Chief Zhao and his running dogs you mean business. The rest of us will follow.”
Li hesitated, “Would this solve my problem of finding a girl friend?” “No problem,” answered the speaker, “Chief Zhao’s wife will be at your disposal.”
“Oh my God -- ” Li fainted on spot.
This didn’t surprise anyone, for people all knew how ugly and mean Chief Zhao’s wife was. The speaker apparently forgot about this when making the offer.
Wang just finished smoking a cigar. He threw the butt away and said: “Give me a break man. The soil has been where we dug food from since ancient times. Killing those in charge won’t change this. Besides, let me make it clear that I am not going to pick peanuts from fire for you.” And he walked away.
The speaker grabbed Wang. But before he could do anything, Wang also grabbed him. Wang pulled his pants down and said: “Let’s see if you have balls!”
People laughed loudly and the speaker harried to cover himself. At this moment Chief Zhao came. Zhao used to be a captain in a local bandit. His body was covered with bullet holes. Needless to say, his temper guided his actions. He picked the speaker up and slapped the guy with his mighty hand.
Other transients ran like rabbits. They were archenemies of Chief Zhao, and knew well Chief Zhao did not climb. They quickly climbed up the big tree by
the field.
Now villagers started to make comments. One guy said he didn’t mind seeing a few lazy boys getting punished. Another said from what he heard even in town such lazy behaviors were not tolerated. The third commentator was an old lady. She cited the village code and pointed out the slapping should be carried out by the shoemaker with his shoes. “No one is above the law, and no one should take the law into his own hands!” She pointed out.
“Yer right! Go auntie go!” Her comments won applauds from the transients
on the tree.
“Who says the punishment has to be slapping? They spank in town.” One of them asserted. “Illegal laws are not laws!” he added.
His professional advice seemed to have quite an impact on villagers. People started debating.
“Can a law be illegal?”
“No way!”
“Yes it can.”
“No!”
“Yes, and you know shit.”
“Fuck laws! I was caught and put in jail for spitting in front of the admin
building!”
“Thanks for reminding me! I almost starved to death after paying my income tax!”
Greatly encouraged by people’s defiance, the transients started to
instigate: “Use conscience my friends! Let’s start the revolution! Big Belly Cui, Auntie Ke, Mounty, use your hoes, and don’t afraid. If the sky collapsed, there would be trees to prop it up.”
“Ha, ha,” Chief Zhao laughed. He tore his jacket open and hit himself on
the chest, “ Welcome guys. Anyone? See if I blink!”
People looked at his scars covered chest. There was a short but awkward silence. Finally Big Belly Cui walked over and said, “Come on, brother Zhao, we are brothers, aren’t we? If it weren’t for you, we would still have been living in poverty.”
Most people agreed with him. One said: “ Big Belly is right. We just started to have a few days of good time, and these transients want to mess things up again. No way. If they want to fight you, Chief Zhao, it is between you and them. We have no business here.”
Chief Zhao lit up. “ You know, maybe it IS better to spank instead of
slap. Why don’t we start from today?” He picked the speaker up from the ground, and spanked him twice with force. The speaker screamed like a pig being slaughtered.
“ Now, for all fairness, I will also invalidate my slapping, and make the
shoemaker do it in the right way,” He added modestly.
Laughter came from all directions. People laughed and laughed. One
transient laughed so much he fell from the tree.
Big Belly Cui caught him, and said, “Old Zhao, for the sake of law, all transients need to receive a stamp on ass from you.”
The villagers supported this motion. But before Chief Zhao could respond, a big snapping noise was heard. People followed the direction and found a brunch of the tree broke. Many transients fell.
These tree climbers fought for a good branch from the beginning. As soon as they got the news of ass stamping the fight intensified to the extent that
the branch decided not to support this fight any more.
Most of these transients were rather tough. All except one could still remember the immediate threat to their ass. They ran away in various
grotesque poses, with hands on ass.
Chief Zhao picked up a hoe, and said, “ Ok, we still need to feed kids, don’t we? Let’s continue to work.”
People had started to work when the road leading to town became dusty. A caravan came and stopped. A bald, old man came out of the first car. He
shouted: “Happy new year, Chief Zhao!”
Chief Zhao squeezed a smile from the portion of his face where there were fewer scars, “Why! Mayer Chen! How come you still remember your red neck friend! Folks, let me introduce Mayer Chen from town!”
“This is Chief Zhao,” said Mayer Chen to the group of businessmen from the town that had come with him, “ the great leader of the village. Why don’t you all get familiar with each other and start invest here. What we want is peace, prosperity, and of course, money.”
“How are you, chief?”
“How do you do?”
“Long time no see!”
“Happy new year!”
“Happy New Year to you too!”
The businessman greeted Chief Zhao. In the air of festivity, the unfortunate episode was quickly forgotten.
作者：随便 在 寒山小径 发贴, 来自 http://www.hjclub.org |
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