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 The professor in the class (1) |
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芦笛
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作者：芦笛 在 罕见奇谈 发贴, 来自 http://www.hjclub.org
The professor in the class (1)
芦笛
Professor:
Today we are going to look into the population problem. As you guys know, recently, a Dr Link proposed that if the population decreased in a geometric order, pretty soon it would extinct. Now let's see if this would happen at all.
Suppose we took a one-foot-long stick and chopped it into two from the middle, and repeated the action every day, after ten thousand years, there would still be part of the stick and nobody would be able to make it disappear. Therefore, we can conclude, quite safely, that a population decreasing in a geometric order will never, ever, reach zero...
Student Xiao Feng :
What a genius the professor is! Look how effortlessly he defeated the pessimistic Dr Link!
Student Flute:
But professor, I don't understand. You can't just chop the last man into two pieces today and repeat that action tomorrow and then the day after tomorrow and then the day after and after... for ten thousand years. Even the great poet Gu Cheng did not do it and everyone knows he was a maniac.
Besides, what's the point of chopping that poor man? He is going to die anyway. Without a wife, how could you suppose he is going to reproduce himself? Like bacteria? Actually, I doubt very much whether we need an axe here at all. Even if there were 100 man left, without a woman, the population would extinct, wouldn't it?
Professor:
Who said anything about chopping the last man? We are talking about a pure math question here and yet you are accusing me of committing murder like the maniac Gu Cheng! You are twisting my words!
Student Flute:
I thought you were talking about the population problem...
Professor:
I am talking about the stick, not the population!
Student Flute (confused):
What stick? Where is it? What on earth does it have to do with our discussion about population?
Professor:
The stick I am chopping into two from the middle! Is it true that part of it would still exist even if you chop it for ten thousand times? How dare you challenge the basic principles of differential calculus! If you don't believe me, go find a stick and chop it for yourself!
Student Flute:
But I thought the stick was just your academic evidence to support your conclusion that population can never reach zero, And I just told you it could reach zero because a man is not a stick...
Professor:
Who said a man is a stick? You are twisting my words again! How dare you! You have no decency!
Student Flute (starting to lose temper as well):
Where is your decency, professor? Everyone has heard what you had said! You said the population could never reach zero even if it decreased in a geometric order. I was only reminding you of the common sense that half a man is not a man...
Professor (laughing sarcastically):
Ha! Ha! Common sense! It's just collection of prejudices acquired before the age of 18!
Student Flute:
Excuse me?
Professor:
I said common sense is just a collection of prejudices man acquired before the age of 18!
Student Flute:
I beg your pardon?
Professor:
I said common sense is just a collection of prejudices man acquired before the age of 18!!! Are you deaf or something?
Student Flute:
Come on, Professor, you must be joking. You can't be serious.
Professor:
I'm dead serious! If you don't understand, let me repeat in plain language: common sense is merely prejudices, nothing more, nothing less!
Student Flute:
If you really mean what you are saying, then I can only assume you are drunk.
Professor:
How outrageous! You can't just go insult people about like this! I'm your professor!
Student Flute:
You really mean what you've just said?
Professor:
Of course I do! Let me tell you something: This is a famous quotation of Einstein! God of all gods! Are you challenging his teachings?
Student Flute:
Why not? He was not free of mistakes, wasn't he? Okay, Professor, if I don't get you wrong, you mean common sense is not human consensus, but unreliable prejudices. Is that right?
Professor (getting excited):
Exactly! Now you are talking! You see, you have your common sense and I have my own. They are both prejudices. Neither is really reliable.
Student Flute:
Fair enough. So my "prejudice" is that "a man can never be born before his mother". Is this unreliable enough? What's yours, Professor?
Professor:
What kind of question this is! You are twisting my words again! We are talking about common sense and yet you are wandering away, talking about a woman and her baby! This is a class, not a bar! Try to remember!
Student Flute:
But I AM talking about common sense! Can' t you see, this is just an example of common sense. Do you agree a man cannot be born before his mother, Professor?
(Professor nodded very reluctantly)
Student Flute:
Do you believe that anyone in this world, even including those imposters who claim they are professors, would disagree with that statement, provided that he/she is not an idiot or maniac?
(Professor shook his head very reluctantly)
Student Flute:
So that is social consensus, not a prejudice, shall we say?
Professor (perplexed):
I can't see where you are trying to lead us. What does this have to do with great Einstein's definition of common sense?
Student Flute:
I am just telling you the simplest truth: common sense is not necessarily prejudices! At least the statement is common sense and this sort of common sense is not prejudice.
Professor (thinking hard for a long while before speaking again):
Aha! I got you! You are twisting my words again! That is NOT common sense! So it can be unbiased! Common sense is something that should be taught in universities, proven by scientific experiments and agreed by all the scientific giants, living or dead! In other words, common sense is proved scientific laws! You do not go to school to learn that a baby cannot be born before his mother, do you? So this statement is not common sense!
Student Flute (shaking his head sadly and looking at the professor with pity):
Now I really believe you are drunk, Professor. May I give you some advice: go home and have a nice sleep. When you wake up, drink some black coffee. Perhaps it can help dispel the thick fog in your head.
Professor (jumping up and down, shouting furiously):
What an insult! I can't take it anymore! You are immoral! You have no minimal ethic norm to obey! I have been restraining myself throughout and yet you have been insulting me all the time! How shameful! What a shame that an educated person like you can sink so low!
Student Flute:
Calm down, Professor! I was only telling you that being a math professor, your specialty is contradicting yourself. See? First you told me that common sense is prejudices, now you said it's scientific laws. With due respect to your brain, I can only assume that you are not an idiot and the loss of your intelligence is only temporary, due to the effect of alcohol. This assumption is very humanitarian and virtuous. Maybe it does not sound sweet, but at least it is not hypocritical. Sometimes truthful words are just like bitter medicine.
Professor:
Aha, you are wrong again! Hypocrisy is also a virtue!
作者：芦笛 在 罕见奇谈 发贴, 来自 http://www.hjclub.org |
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